The receptionist gave him a look when he walked in the next morning – afternoon, if you wanted to get technical about it. After running into Layla and Noah, he’d called an old friend and spent the evening at her place drinking cosmopolitans; not his choice of drink but they did their job.
His father walked into his office, the familiar look of disapproval on his face.
“You missed the photoshoot for Metro,” he said, glaring at Ben’s unshaven face. “Though given the shape you’re in today, pictures may have been a bad idea.”
“Shit. The photoshoot. I’m sorry, Dad. I got no sleep last night. I completely forgot.”
“Spare me the tired excuses. You’ve been coming in late, unfocused and barely meeting deadlines. I don’t get it, Ben. It’s as if you’re going out of your way to sabotage this project. Do you know the opportunities this could bring you?”
“Dad, I left a good job in Tokyo to do this. Isn’t that good enough for you?”
His dad opened his mouth to speak then appeared to change his mind.
“Look, I decided to come out of retirement for us to do this together. I wanted it to be my last big project and the first of many, for you. But if this isn’t something you’re committed to, then just say so. I don’t want to end my career on a mediocre note.”
Ben let out a dry laugh.
“It must be hard to have such a mediocre son.”
“Oh, here we go. Don’t make this about you and your insecurities. This design, it’s bigger than you or me. We have a chance to honor the victims and their families. Do this to honor Justin”
The words landed like a gut punch but he managed to compose himself.
“Do you know they haven’t identified his remains yet?” he said.
His father sank down on the chair.
“I had no idea. That’s terrible.”
“You know, we were planning to start our own firm, even had a name. We were gonna build skyscrapers. Now, his name can’t even grace a tombstone. So, yeah, it’s a little hard for me to focus on my legacy.”
His voice broke and his father rose to place a hand on his shoulder.
“Look, survivor’s guilt is common, it’s understandable. But it’s not your fault. He was just at the wrong place at the…”
Ben cut him off.
“Dad, he wasn’t at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was supposed to be me. It should have been me.”
His breaths became shallow. Justin should be here now, watching his son grow up instead of being a piece of DNA. He was sobbing now, the wall inside him collapsed. His body shook as the shame he’d been living with released like a flood.
His father sat next to him pale faced as Ben told him he’d overslept the morning of the attacks and was going to be late to assist a partner with a client presentation at the World Trade Center. He’d called Justin at the office half an hour before the meeting and asked him to go in his place.
You owe me big time, Justin had told him when, like always, he’d agreed to have his back.
To be Continued
MUST LOVE CHOCOLATE 